~So confused wanna ask you if you love me
But I don't wanna seem so weak
Maybe I've been California dreaming~
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Monday, 30 May 2011
To a friend that I cherished the most....
For the past 23 years, 31st of may does not mean anything other than just a date. Nothing special, nothing important, and especially nothing worth remembering. However, this year there is a new meaning of that particular date, albeit a sad one. I still remember the first day I stepped on the office and I was nobody. I do not know anyone and to be honest, I was terrified. Yet, she said hello to me and took time to know who I am. My first couple of days became quite memorable. I still remember the day when I had to make lots of christmas labels to be distributed fast and she along with Gek helped all night until 9 pm. That's the first thing that I noticed about her...how helpful she is. Then, when I got a scolding, a big one, I rang her up and she will listen to me.
As the weeks passed by, we did not get closer straight away, but I realized that I have a friend in her. I saw the sweat and the tears she had during the fashion show and deep down I am saying "If i can do Half the thing she is doing, I would be so awesome", because that is what she is...Awesome.
In January, things become a bit hectic knowing that one of our friend is leaving and eventually her work is falling on me. But, she encouraged me in her own way and giving me supports that keeps me out of depression. As event goes and days passed by, we grew closer and she started to bring out the best in me as she did with other people. Never in my life, I would see someone is so cheerful and sunny but sometimes I can see the light in her diminished and the waterworks will start. Its hard to know that she cried because she was unfairly treated for doing excellent jobs that she loves to do.
Then, the news come like a thunder in the day light....although I must admit that I saw it coming. After months of working, she has decided to resigned. Although it is very hard for me and would be a very selfish decision if I asked her to stay, I have to accept the fact that she is leaving for a better environment.
Prav, I am very thankful for everything that you taught me and the thing that you have done for me. I am sure that everybody will missed you so much and they will shed tears when you leave. That, my friend, is the testament of how precious you are for all of us. I am praying for you, your happiness and your future successes which I believe will be a lot. I am happy that you are happy and finally, something can put a smile in your face.
-V-
especially for you.......
As the weeks passed by, we did not get closer straight away, but I realized that I have a friend in her. I saw the sweat and the tears she had during the fashion show and deep down I am saying "If i can do Half the thing she is doing, I would be so awesome", because that is what she is...Awesome.
In January, things become a bit hectic knowing that one of our friend is leaving and eventually her work is falling on me. But, she encouraged me in her own way and giving me supports that keeps me out of depression. As event goes and days passed by, we grew closer and she started to bring out the best in me as she did with other people. Never in my life, I would see someone is so cheerful and sunny but sometimes I can see the light in her diminished and the waterworks will start. Its hard to know that she cried because she was unfairly treated for doing excellent jobs that she loves to do.
Then, the news come like a thunder in the day light....although I must admit that I saw it coming. After months of working, she has decided to resigned. Although it is very hard for me and would be a very selfish decision if I asked her to stay, I have to accept the fact that she is leaving for a better environment.
Prav, I am very thankful for everything that you taught me and the thing that you have done for me. I am sure that everybody will missed you so much and they will shed tears when you leave. That, my friend, is the testament of how precious you are for all of us. I am praying for you, your happiness and your future successes which I believe will be a lot. I am happy that you are happy and finally, something can put a smile in your face.
-V-
especially for you.......
Bleeding Heart
I know that the song that I pick today won't have any sense of relevancy to the feeling that I am experiencing now. It's just that every time I got sad, I will submerge myself into these mellow songs and find the source to gain my strength. People perceived me as weak, they will do anything they can do to me through words and attitudes. I know who you are and you know who am I speaking about. One day, I will be the last one standing and having the last laugh.....
Enough with the emo fiesta.....just listen to this...
Enough with the emo fiesta.....just listen to this...
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Monday, 23 May 2011
Turning it upside down
"So I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me,
I cant give you the heart you think you gave me,
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables"
-Turning Tables by Adele-
During one of her interview for her new album, Adele told the reporters that her main inspiration of her songs came from the break up of her relationships. Listening through her songs, you can feel the raw angst flowing through her voice and it seeps into your heart through the melodies that she created. I may not be an amazing singer as she, but I can relate her songs to my stories.
In my life, many tables had been turned by people..they all come and go, they became fragments of my memories. Every day, I will meet new faces and creating new memories that I hope it will last longer than the previous ones. However, when the reality sinks in, those fragments are trashed into dust of glasses swept by the wind.
I am an extremely private person and its hard for me to let someone in, let alone trust that person fully. But, lots of people have turns the tables on me and frankly, I had enough of it. Sometimes, when I am caught in the middle of a limbo, my mind will wander to thinking about the people who had graced my life and asking where are they now. Through the long road down the memory lanes, i found out that the more I dwell on it, the pain that comes with it grows and someday it will be unbearable for me to cope with it anymore.
Someday, I have to turn the tables again and be strong for myself..erect my walls and don't let people hurt me easily.
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me,
I cant give you the heart you think you gave me,
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables"
-Turning Tables by Adele-
During one of her interview for her new album, Adele told the reporters that her main inspiration of her songs came from the break up of her relationships. Listening through her songs, you can feel the raw angst flowing through her voice and it seeps into your heart through the melodies that she created. I may not be an amazing singer as she, but I can relate her songs to my stories.
In my life, many tables had been turned by people..they all come and go, they became fragments of my memories. Every day, I will meet new faces and creating new memories that I hope it will last longer than the previous ones. However, when the reality sinks in, those fragments are trashed into dust of glasses swept by the wind.
I am an extremely private person and its hard for me to let someone in, let alone trust that person fully. But, lots of people have turns the tables on me and frankly, I had enough of it. Sometimes, when I am caught in the middle of a limbo, my mind will wander to thinking about the people who had graced my life and asking where are they now. Through the long road down the memory lanes, i found out that the more I dwell on it, the pain that comes with it grows and someday it will be unbearable for me to cope with it anymore.
Someday, I have to turn the tables again and be strong for myself..erect my walls and don't let people hurt me easily.
Thursday, 19 May 2011
Days go by and yet it stays there...
Have you ever wonder about yourself when you feel like you are alone and there is no one cares about you...or wondering why they keep teasing you. I know perfectly that I was not born perfect and NEWS FLASH! None of us were born that way. I was not meant to be poked and jeer at for everything that I am.
I guess i should realize that I am Unique and Different...that what will makes me become memorable.
To borrow some words from the ultimate Unique musician in the 21st century:
"I AM BEAUTIFUL IN MY WAY, CAUSE GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES, DONT HIDE YOURSELF IN REGRET. I WAS BORN THAT WAY!
Leave my stamp in this world!
I guess i should realize that I am Unique and Different...that what will makes me become memorable.
To borrow some words from the ultimate Unique musician in the 21st century:
"I AM BEAUTIFUL IN MY WAY, CAUSE GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES, DONT HIDE YOURSELF IN REGRET. I WAS BORN THAT WAY!
Leave my stamp in this world!
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
In the Dark
If only they know the meaning behind this song.....
One of the best song she did before she went crazy with stupid gimmicks!
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Stop Start Stop Shut Up!
Different!
That is what I consider myself as, I am different compare to other guys that I know.
People see me as soft, less tougher compare to the other guys. I dont follow the norm of what Boys usually do. I love to be me, but if there is one thing that I want to change about myself is my will to know everything. A Busy body is what people would describe me, if they know how nosy I am.
I would go ask people what is up and what they are doing..... guess that is one of my flaws.
So i should stop doing it..start to be confident...stop being a busy body and should Shut Up from now on!
That is what I consider myself as, I am different compare to other guys that I know.
People see me as soft, less tougher compare to the other guys. I dont follow the norm of what Boys usually do. I love to be me, but if there is one thing that I want to change about myself is my will to know everything. A Busy body is what people would describe me, if they know how nosy I am.
I would go ask people what is up and what they are doing..... guess that is one of my flaws.
So i should stop doing it..start to be confident...stop being a busy body and should Shut Up from now on!
Dreams
I had a very vivid dream last night, a strange dream that keeps coming in during my sleep like a tidal wave. I am not trying to decipher that it means anymore like I used to do.
Last night I had a dream, a weird dream that makes me feel like I was transported to another world where the exact opposite of the reality occurs. I will not try to understand what it means anymore, I am tired of it.
Today...will I have another undesirable dream again? What are you try to tell me from these dreams?
-Dreams-
"Now here I go again, I see the crystal vision
I keep my visions to myself
It's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams and
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell,
Dreams of Loneliness, like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering
What you had, And what you lost
What you had, oh what you lost"
By: Fleetwood Mac
Last night I had a dream, a weird dream that makes me feel like I was transported to another world where the exact opposite of the reality occurs. I will not try to understand what it means anymore, I am tired of it.
Today...will I have another undesirable dream again? What are you try to tell me from these dreams?
-Dreams-
"Now here I go again, I see the crystal vision
I keep my visions to myself
It's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams and
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell,
Dreams of Loneliness, like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering
What you had, And what you lost
What you had, oh what you lost"
By: Fleetwood Mac
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