It has been a very long time since I update my blog. Consistency is something that I had a problem with, I can admit now. It is something that can be proven by my lack of update and my terrible work performance. I had been going like a zombie for the past few months, complaining about work, when the real problem is me.
I am demotivated, inconsistence and all lost. This combination sends me into a deep depression that i feel like endless. As i go deeper, i found myself to be mad at everything. I need helps, but I am too scared to ask for it.
I have been disappointed left and right. i have been disappointed by people, by friends, and by my family.
I am not a money hungry person, but i always like to know where my money has gone. Every months, i paid for the house rent and my mother says that she will exchange the money then keep it in my bank accounts. 11 months later, I have not seen a penny yet.
Meanwhile, I have to pay for my brother's electricity bill and house rent as well. On top of that, i have my own expenses and when I asked her about my money, she asked me why you did not get to save any money!
How cruel it is?
my mom said he has been working by doing people's essay and paid for his own necessities. As far as I am concern, he spend the day playing, wasting electricity by turning his computer all night with movies on and he slept.
what a life....
meanwhile, i am here slaving away in the office.
a trip down the depression line......when can i get out of this funk?
